The Story Behind the ‘Look, I am your Father’ T-shirt
“Therefore now he is not a servant, but a son. And if a son, an heir also through God.” Galatians 4:7 (DRA)
A long time ago in a galaxy not-at-all far away a Father-heart longed for sons of daughters to shower in His love. He wanted someone to bear His name, increase His legacy, someone to talk to, laugh and play with, someone to wrap His arms around. He wasn’t trying to build himself a staff complement. Family was on His mind.
A long time ago in a galaxy not at all far away God longed for you and me.
The Bible is filled with verses like Galatians 4:7 that teach us about God the Father. Our Father. But why is it so important to know Him as our Father? Why isn’t it enough to only accept Him as God, the One who makes the rules and seems out to ‘get’ us when we break them?
Well, let’s start by looking at how our world works. After all, it’s based on Kingdom principles, whether we like to admit it or not.
At the heart of all the social structures a healthy society revolves around, lies the family. It’s the very fibre of our existence on earth. The golden thread that was meant to keep everything together, working in harmony – no wonder the enemy comes at the family structure with all his might. Fathers, in turn, are the axis around which the family rotates. You might be inclined to disagree with me here, because it’s easy to confuse the worth of a father with that of a mother. She is the one through which we are brought into the world, nourishes us as infants and little children; she’s the one we run to with bruised knees, hungry tummies and basically any little need that pops into our childlike minds. The importance of moms, their love and Jesus-like hearts can never be denied.
But oh, the approval of a Father. Nothing can ever substitute it, nothing can ever fill its giant shoes, there’s just nothing in this entire world that can fill that gap if it’s left empty. We do try our best – chasing love, money, success, the pleasures of the world. But if you’re honest with yourself for just a second here, you’d admit that regardless of the outward status you might achieve, if you are the owner of some kind of father wound, you will also sport a nagging little voice that has its way with you in the still of the night. It’s that voice that laughs at you every time you walk up to a new group of people, sniggering in anticipation of their rejection. The voice that writes, “TOLD YOU SO” in big black letters across the sky when those doors to your dreams slam in your face. It’s the one that rubs your nose in every single life experience that’s entwined with little nuances of negativity and blows it out of proportion so that the lies of rejection and failure are all you see. It’s that voice that devours you from inside. And it feeds on success, approval, acceptance and acclaim, but no matter how well you feed it, it just never gets enough. It will never, ever leave you alone, until you decide to call its bluff.
Under the love of a mother, our hearts are developed, but it’s from a father that we receive our identity. The sons and daughters of a king bear the title of prince and princess and those of a slave are born into captivity. It’s also the reason why we traditionally receive our father’s surname at birth. And it’s not for nothing that fathers are the ones who bestow identity on their children.
In fact, it’s exactly the way God intended it to be. In a perfect world, it would have worked like this: Children would grow up learning how to live life from whole and stable fathers who acted out what they saw God do. These children would follow their dads’ model examples, grow up to model it to their children and the cycle would continue. The ways of God filtering down in perfect formation. But the enemy of our souls were all too familiar with the power of father figures and snuck sin into the system, hijacking it for his own rotten purposes. He’s still busy today doing everything in his power to stop our earthly fathers from being a good reflection of the One they were supposed to symbolise.
Our father wounds are the deepest kind of wound you can find. They are generally our first wounds because in that perfect world we touched on just now, the opening scenes to our lives should have represented the irrevocable approval of our fathers. In that perfect world, our dads should have taught us from the start that no matter what we do, they love us. No matter if we fail, they’re proud of us. No matter if we lack, they accept us. If we fall, they’ve got out backs. But not all of them did, not all of them were able to and even if we were blessed with fathers who were whole enough themselves to love us properly, the enemy is a master of finding some way to confuse the messages of love and acceptance so that we end up finding flaws in our identity.
Whenever we feel rejection from our fathers, it’s like a shock-wave rippling through our small systems, tearing our grip on reality to shreds. See, deep inside each one of us lives the truth about who we really are. There’s some small part of us that remembers what it looked like when God blew His breath into our lungs at birth. Deep, so very deep inside we know that we are sons and daughters of the King, from Royal descent; travelling far from home but en route to a destiny of rule and reign. We remember our Royal roots and the perfect love God the Father has for us, ever so subconsciously. So when we experience any form of rejection from our earthly fathers – real or not – we instinctively compare notes with what’s hidden inside and when it doesn’t add up, our little minds respond by hiding our hurt so far away that no one would ever discover the ‘truth’. Lest they believe, like we do, that the fault lies with us. Small children are programmed to look up to their fathers, unwaveringly. And they don’t seek the problem with their dads, they just assume it’s something they did wrong. Often these hurt little boys and girls grow up to discover that the mistake lay with their parents after all and turn to hate, resentment or an extreme determination to prove them wrong. But by then, the damage is done. The lie was sold and settled a long time ago. Buried below layers of a life spent seeking approval elsewhere. Never to be uncovered and challenged.
For each child this wound looks differently. But the message is always the same: You are at fault.
And so it may be that no one else in the whole wide world knows what your wound looks like. Perhaps that even includes you. It may be so well hidden, pushed down for so long that you yourself don’t even recognise it anymore. But here’s the thing: pain never, ever goes away on its own. Time won’t ever fully heal that lie if the one who bought it never checks their receipt. You may succeed somehow in forgiving your father, find something that resembles fatherly love in the feelings you have towards your own children, but unless that gaping hole in your soul is filled with the approval of a Father figure you will always keep on feeling empty. That hole in your heart is shaped in the exact form of the one true Father. And NOTHING will ever fill it other than God.
I’m not sure what your father wound looks like. But I’m pretty sure it’s there. I grew up with the most loving father a child could dream of but in a string of unfortunate events he lost his job, his savings, his health and finally his life. My strong hero turned out to have feet of clay and without me even realising it, it made me question the messages of my youth. It made me wonder if everything I believed about who I was, had always been a lie. The enemy of our souls can take a near-perfect father and find some inning to make his affirmation seem untrue. Your father may never have doubted you, but the world may have managed to make you doubt who your father was, and in turn, made you question yourself. Your father may have left your home and even if he remained a loving part of your life, his absence created a chasm between you and God. Even with involved fathers, out to boost and praise their children, there’s a master of lies meddling to make you think their love and acceptance is based on performance.
Yes, I don’t know what your father wound looks like, but I know what to call it. A lie.
It’s a lie because God says you are made wonderfully (Psalm 139:14). He says you have a good future that awaits (Jeremiah 29:11). He says you are loved (1 John 3:1), accepted (Romans 15:7), chosen (Ephesians 1:4-5), taken care of (1 Peter 5:7). And He’s not a man that He can lie (Numbers 23:19).
There’s a Voice of a whole different kind calling out to you today. And you can relax, it’s not an alter call and no one will ask you to raise your hand. Yet you have to take a step of surrendering your hurt and opening it up to the One who has the power to heal it. Closed wounds can’t heal. Similar to wounds of the flesh, our soul wounds need Light to grow whole again.
Even if you feel like you could use a punching bag right now. God’s not fazed by any of our feelings. He just wants the truth to come out. With honesty He can work; it’s lies that tie His hands. If you’re mad at your father and maybe even the One who picked him out for you, don’t feel like you have to hide that anger from God. If you’re mad, tell Him so. He can take it. In fact, He desperately WANTS to take that anger, defuse it with the truth about who He – the Creator of heaven and earth – says you are and change it into rest, calm, freedom, joy, love, life.
Even if the smallest piece of your heart got pierced by who your father is, was, or made you believe you are, then I dare you, as the son or daughter of the King of the universe, to hold it up against the truth of who your Heavenly Father says you are. Let’s see to which version your Royal soul draws to instinctively. To borrow a few words from the Hillsong United track, ‘Touch the sky’: Who knows what treasure waits within your scars…
Try these words if you struggle to find the right ones of your own:
God, in the Bible You say that You are my Father and what’s more – You say that You are a good Father. My picture of what a father looks like got twisted along the way so I’m asking You to show me. Show me what a good Father You are. Today I challenge You to show Yourself strong and true to that part of my soul that got cut off in disappointment. Let me feel Your imprint upon my heart so I can stop slaving to the demands of the world and know what it feels like to be an heir to the King. So I can understand what my identity and my heritage is in You. I’m asking You in the name of Jesus. Amen
For a little preview of what God looks like as your Father, have a look at this clip: https://www.abbaskids.com/best-dad-video.html
And as always, you’re welcome to chat to me (info@bread-crumbs.co.za) about anything you’ve read here or something that’s nagging you about the topic. Still not an alter call : ) Just a standing invite.
“I will be to you a Father. You will be to me sons and daughters,” says the Lord Almighty. 2 Corinthians 6:18 (WEB)
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